Looking for help and being able to understand the WHY?
I have been attending Grace off and on for over a year. I have recently gone through a breakup and found it very difficult. I cry alot, feel lonely and reach out to God however, I feel as if he is too busy for my problems. I always ask the question Why? I truly loved this man but he had some problems legally and I did not find that he was taking care of the important issues. I am afraid to go into the prayer room and ask for help as I am not sure if someone will look down upon me for trying so hard with him. I asked him to leave my home 3 months ago, fix the issues and then we will try to work on things. Well I realized that this man I feel is my soulmate and that I made a terrible mistake. I called all over St. Louis looking for him leaving messages and letting him know I love him terrible. I asked for forgiveness from God and him and to give me a second chance as someone gave him a second chance before. However, I do not think anyone is listening and depression has set in miserably. I do not where to turn. I do try to come to church and listen and in one of the sermons it was said "do not hang on to the relationship as they have moved on". On Sunday I found that he was dating someone else however he says he still loves me. He has broken my heart and spirit and I feel as I am a complete failure in all relationships. I am usually a fun, high spirited person but this mistake has robbed me or I have let it. I just want to know Why? and what I have to do to be happy. I know 1. to love me 2. let God lead the way 3. if it was meant to be it would be. I just need a friend.
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Comments
True Love doesn't hurt
Kelly,
i too have gone through a breakup and i know how painful it is. And i just have to remind myself that he lost so much more than i could ever have. And he will never find anyone who will love him as i did and sometimes still do. Keep close to the God and say your prayers for him to comfort you.
Kelly, Anytime at Grace
Kelly,
Anytime at Grace there is always someone to talk to about what you are going through. NO ONE will ever judge you if you ask for help because as Christians we all go through struggles and we need others to help us to get through them. so please go in for prayer and call the church and talk to someone cause you dont need to deal with it alone. also any leaders of small groups or the ushers can get you in touch with the right people to help. so alwways remember there are people out there at RACE praying for you. God bless
The answers aren't always easy
Kelly,
I am so sorry to hear about your pain. You are one of many, many people who are left at the hurting end of a former relationship. You are one of many, and yet you feel all alone, just as most do.
God has given us a wealth of inside secrets about how to make our relationships thrive, but even with those in effect we still face the possibility of getting hurt because relationships require putting our heart on the line, and there's no guarantee that other people will "play by the rules" or prove to be right for us.
I encourage you to let someone on the prayer team pray with you. They won't judge you. And get involved in one of our community groups so you can build some friendships with other women who can help you through these rough times. We have so many groups to choose from, and they'd all love to meet you.
Please do not beat yourself up over having asked him to move out. If he really loved you, he would have overcome the problems he needed to fix so that he could pursue you. To answer the question of "why" we would have to begin at the beginning of the relationship. You both made mistakes, as do all couples. You haven't given us the specifics, but God knows them. And He loves you in spite of any mistake you've made. He knows what you are going through, and He won't leave you alone in this.
Thank you for your kind
Thank you for your kind words. This gave me the strength to end this relationship forever. I took back the possessions that were in my name and could cause me harm by him in a legal way if he made a mistake. He has been driving on a suspended license and did not want to correct the problem for over a year. I realized that I was the enabler of the relationship and I need to take back control of my life. I gave him a time limit in April of one month, to get the vehicle put in his name however, he thought that was not an important issue. I did everything legal and abide by the laws as well as feel better about myself. He "chose" his direction and thinks "his friends" will be there to bail him out or support his dart habits, lifestyle or whatever else he choses, as well as his legal mess. I am not willing to do that for him or anyone anymore. Thank you for making me understand that I need to be true to me. You were right "if he wanted this relationship he would have moved mountains for me and this is not what he was willing to do". The best thing that I have come to realize is I am no longer the enabler of this man who could not see that someone was willing to walk the line with him during his trouble times, the enabler are his "friends and new woman" that he was chosen personally. He will one day have to answer for the mistakes he has created to GOD and then he will ask "WHY?".
DON'T BE AFRAID
Dear Kelly, please don't be afraid, I have been thru some bad times, and I would never go into the prayer room either, I felt I wasn't good enough, and I felt the same way you did,God loves us all, we are all equal in his eyes, No one is better than the other. You are very brokenhearted now and you will get pass this. Please go into the prayer room. I did several times, after I got the nerve. And I'm glad I did.I still struggle with alot of areas. But I have really realized we are all Children of God's, and he loves us all equal. Jesus loves you so much and wants you to be happy and full of joy.. this week when you go to church, hold your head up high and claim what you have in the lord, and go into the prayer room and ask for prayer. You will be glad you did. We can talk anytime if you would like.
God Bless
Cindy